Good Memories…

For the past several weeks I have been on a real 70’s kick with music, and music is all I do. Jim asks to watch the news at 11, and well that’s ok, cuz I’m already halfway to bed (been sleeping on the couch for the past 45 minutes!) And Jim, being a big fan of the era, as he IS older than I! Today, while preparing dinner a song came on that just took my entire being over and I just couldn’t stop my booty from shakin! The original recording of Proud Mary by no other than TINA TURNER, yea Ike was there too, the bastard…be that may, shaking my booty, singing loud and proud and waving my spatula like no other something came to me. Not as startling as a haunting memory, but something warm, and sweet, with a familiar feeling washing over you. There they are, I knew you were out there somewhere. I could see little bits and pieces of you from time to time, but no sooner did I see you, but a dark memory intruded in and put you in the back again. Now that all that darkness is turning to dust and blowing away as I release the breath I held so tight in fear and send it to dust as the light shines so brightly I am almost blinded by the radiance of this memory. The music, it’s the music…absorbed in the music of the mid 60’s through the 70’s…this is the music I grew up to! I have always liked these two decades, even loved many bands but the memories were mostly bittersweet. The sweet was always so short lived before in marched the sour. Okay, done…let’s move on the music I can relate to, heavy metal and the grunge rock of the 90’s…of course, as another twisted soul, no matter the difference in age, the agony always the same. But now I am submerged in this music like a big, huge bathtub full of bubbles, at your most perfect temperature and you never want to get out! I am singing, and dancing, or my version looking somewhat like a mixture of Elaine from Seinfeld and an epileptic fit. But pretty or not, there is joy, and it is all encompassing when suddenly it hits you like a big gust of wind on a hot humid day, it almost takes your breath away but it’s so refreshing as it cools the sweat on your skin. You smile, you remember, all of those joyful memories of aunt Charlotte and uncle Ralph! Janell and her family, going water skiing, horseback riding, just being kids, hitchhiking to concerts with Joan and getting back stage in never you mind I am not telling you ever, but makes me laugh and say, you old slut! LOL But they’re clear now. Crystal clear…if you’ve ever taken a photography class, or I had the most amazing teacher ever, you look at a full color photograph…you study it, try to take in as many details as possible. Now, look at the same photo in black and white…OH MY LORD the details jump out at you, you are mesmerized and it’s as if you’re this glorious sponge and you are just absorbing every tiny detail. Go back to the color picture now…what do you see? You see every beautiful, technicolor memory in high definition without the blur, or the shadows and it’s beauty is magnificence and the only way to purely enjoy and take in that much beauty at one time is to weep. You fall down onto your sofa and you weep with such joy that smiling and laughter alone cannot express it, so you do it all…it’s exhausting, it’s like giving birth, but it is the most beautiful exhaustion next to giving your child life that you will ever feel. I AM FEELING AND I LOVE IT!