Living HEALTHY fat And FABULOUS…

I was looking at the title to my blog over the weekend and I wished that I had spelled it out a little different-I wish it was LivingHEALTHYfatAndFABULOUS because the word fat is just an adjective to describe the fact that my body will always be squishy, soft, fluffy, droopy, saggy and of course fat! But I should have been sure to devalue that word compared to the other words in the title like healthy and FABULOUS!! While a lot of us have been shamed our whole lives because of our weight, size, shape, etc. that as we grew up in the whole yoyo dieting, fad dieting, do anything including vomiting on purpose and using laxatives to achieve the ideal what, weight? Body? Shape? All of the above, and what was worse was that we had to have it all…what good was weight loss if we were still lumpy, cellulite city, jiggly so therefore it’s also about the body and then how and where the curves were? The most unattainable thing in the world is someone elses body! It took me well over 50 years to figure this out, and let’s be honest being overweight for most of my childhood and early 20’s lead to obesity to morbid obesity when I topped off at 347 on my 5’3 1/2” tall body made me look about as wide as I was tall…there was nothing wrong with that except how ashamed I felt because of it, I remember feeling that I really didn’t deserve to be alive, polluting the world with this hideous thing to look at…my “parents” were great as I got into my morbidly obese stage by letting me know out of care that I no longer resembled anything human.

If anyone has ever said anything like this to you….FUCK THEM! The only thing that matters is that you are healthy so you can do all the things you want and dream of and to feel FABULOUS in your body, in your mind, in the very depths of your soul! Changing my diet and feeling healthy was what my journey began for in the first place, I realized that I hadn’t felt well in probably 20+ years. Here I am almost two years later and I feel FABULOUS and very healthy and I feel good and yes I have lost some weight but with that came the real droopy boobs and extra chins, that skin is not bouncing back at my age, I have extra skin everywhere I actually think if I could move my arms faster I could achieve lift off! But ya know what, who cares! I feel better than I did in my twenties so I have droopy boobs, extra skin hanging from my belly and fat that will never go away, I no longer have an ass, it’s now just some saggy skin hanging down onto my thighs, and talk about loose skin-I now resemble an old lady with saggy stockings on, and sadly if I pull up on the skin on my upper thigh, the rest of my leg looks really nice now! I am now laughing because this is truly what used to keep me hiding in my house. I know we have all seen the transformations on television with their surgery to remove extra skin and look as if they never had any weight problems at all. Well, that’s not really financially achievable for most and as for me, not a big fan of surgery of any kind but I am not going to start rearranging my body so that it will be more visually pleasing to people I don’t even know! Just remember, the people that love you, for you don’t see all the crap we do!

So here’s to us on this beautiful Sunday morning…those that are feeling healthy, and fabulous and have the most beautiful fat, firm, fluffy, droopy, saggy, muscular, thin, disabled, tall, short, canes, wheelchairs, crutches, running shoes, stilettos, barefoot, all of us that are trying to be our healthiest, and know we are fabulous just the way we are!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!