Thank you for following me here at Living Healthy Fat and Fabulous, but in my constantly moving forward journey of healing I have started a new blog and would appreciate your follow! Thank you again for your continued support!! Follow over at thehealingjourneyorg.wordpress.com
Plant based taco salad was on the menu this week and it was delicious! So easy to make, I used 1 can of organic pinto beans-rinsed and 1 pkg of Gardein Beetles Crumbles. I used my favorite organic taco seasoning but you can use any you like or just spice it up yourself! Salad was romaine lettuce, mini heirloom tomatoes, fresh corn, avocado, green onions, jalapeño and topped with cilantro lime dressing. I used a basic lemon tahini dressing replacing lemon juice with lime and adding cilantro, 1/4 an avocado and almond milk to thin! Chips on the side are Late July Snacks Sea Salt by the seashore multigrain tortilla chips-so delicious, organic, gluten free, non gmo made with chia, flax, millet, quinoa and amaranth! This will be a summer favorite I can tell, next time I will grill the corn and avocado!
It’s my birthday today, the big 5-7! And ya know what, it just keeps getting better as we get older! I really thought at one time that getting older was something I felt the need to keep at bay, just so I could experience all the things I missed when I was younger, but over the past couple of years I have been so blessed to have met some of the most wonderful people who have not only helped me with my physical health, mental health, finding myself, self care, and most importantly that I don’t have to be young to discover new things, I don’t have to just give up because I didn’t do these things years ago. You can do whatever you want, you can be whomever you want to be, you can learn anything you wish, and you can do it no matter how old you are! So today I did a little work, a little study, and now I am going to go get myself a pedi and then have a nice dinner and a few drinks with my hubby and my daughter! I am so grateful for everyone and everything I have in my life!
I am so excited for spring/summer for so many reasons but food is one of the big ones! I LOVE farmers markets especially now that I’ve been on a plant based diet! But it’s so amazing all the choices that come up this season, there are so many fruits and veggies that come into season and they are so delicious compared to their hot house cousins! Not to mention you truly can begin to experience the rainbow now! We have been enjoying tons of salads and I have discovered some wonderful dressings which I will get the links to the recipes and share them here with you! Plant based and delicious my favorite so far has been a vegan green goddess dressing that is. out of this world good! Don’t forget to get a rainbow on your plate every day trust me you will feel so much better and as you can imagine eating this way just makes you enjoy your meal so much more! It’s so pretty, all those textures and flavors is so wonderful! Do yourself a favor and really tune into your meal and enjoy it! I am definitely a foodie and now that my choices make me feel energetic and healthy instead of bloated, heavy and sleepy I am truly enjoying cooking and preparing and of course EATING! Enjoy your day, enjoy your life, enjoy your meal and those who you share them all with! Love you guys!
I was looking at the title to my blog over the weekend and I wished that I had spelled it out a little different-I wish it was LivingHEALTHYfatAndFABULOUS because the word fat is just an adjective to describe the fact that my body will always be squishy, soft, fluffy, droopy, saggy and of course fat! But I should have been sure to devalue that word compared to the other words in the title like healthy and FABULOUS!! While a lot of us have been shamed our whole lives because of our weight, size, shape, etc. that as we grew up in the whole yoyo dieting, fad dieting, do anything including vomiting on purpose and using laxatives to achieve the ideal what, weight? Body? Shape? All of the above, and what was worse was that we had to have it all…what good was weight loss if we were still lumpy, cellulite city, jiggly so therefore it’s also about the body and then how and where the curves were? The most unattainable thing in the world is someone elses body! It took me well over 50 years to figure this out, and let’s be honest being overweight for most of my childhood and early 20’s lead to obesity to morbid obesity when I topped off at 347 on my 5’3 1/2” tall body made me look about as wide as I was tall…there was nothing wrong with that except how ashamed I felt because of it, I remember feeling that I really didn’t deserve to be alive, polluting the world with this hideous thing to look at…my “parents” were great as I got into my morbidly obese stage by letting me know out of care that I no longer resembled anything human.
If anyone has ever said anything like this to you….FUCK THEM! The only thing that matters is that you are healthy so you can do all the things you want and dream of and to feel FABULOUS in your body, in your mind, in the very depths of your soul! Changing my diet and feeling healthy was what my journey began for in the first place, I realized that I hadn’t felt well in probably 20+ years. Here I am almost two years later and I feel FABULOUS and very healthy and I feel good and yes I have lost some weight but with that came the real droopy boobs and extra chins, that skin is not bouncing back at my age, I have extra skin everywhere I actually think if I could move my arms faster I could achieve lift off! But ya know what, who cares! I feel better than I did in my twenties so I have droopy boobs, extra skin hanging from my belly and fat that will never go away, I no longer have an ass, it’s now just some saggy skin hanging down onto my thighs, and talk about loose skin-I now resemble an old lady with saggy stockings on, and sadly if I pull up on the skin on my upper thigh, the rest of my leg looks really nice now! I am now laughing because this is truly what used to keep me hiding in my house. I know we have all seen the transformations on television with their surgery to remove extra skin and look as if they never had any weight problems at all. Well, that’s not really financially achievable for most and as for me, not a big fan of surgery of any kind but I am not going to start rearranging my body so that it will be more visually pleasing to people I don’t even know! Just remember, the people that love you, for you don’t see all the crap we do!
So here’s to us on this beautiful Sunday morning…those that are feeling healthy, and fabulous and have the most beautiful fat, firm, fluffy, droopy, saggy, muscular, thin, disabled, tall, short, canes, wheelchairs, crutches, running shoes, stilettos, barefoot, all of us that are trying to be our healthiest, and know we are fabulous just the way we are!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!
Lately I have noticed that as much as I feel I am on the road of healing I really have a profound way of sabotaging myself over and over. I think that because of where I am in my healing process I have actually began to feel the anger I have been pushing down for over 50 years now and it will not be silenced! So…as you can imagine I am trying, along with my therapist to find ways, preferably not the violent ones I seem to lean toward, to effectively distribute my anger in creative ways (along with the times when I do get to go out and beat up an inanimate object!).
My main focus right now is trying to stay in the present, and if your anything like me this can end up being a very powerful tool for your healing journey because my choice of self harm these days since I stopped cutting is to go back into my head, into my past and still try and figure out why, how, and what I could have done to make it different and I can spend days, weeks even in that very dark place.
The good news is that while I am still doing that to myself, during these periods I still am taking care of my physical health! The funny thing is that it’s such a great thing to know how horrible I would feel physically that I won’t falter from my plant based diet but there are certain habits now which I have to do or it completely throws off my day!
Staying present in every moment of your life is a difficult task for many, but for those of us who have survived trauma or have other illnesses that prevent us from being able to do this with ease-this my friends is hard work! I didn’t realize how much my fear, anxiety, etc. has kept me either hashing over my past or fearing my future and then wondering where all the time went and how come my life is passing me by, I’m not even living it?!
Well, for me it has been an ongoing process to find what works the best for me. Remember, always find what works best for you! No matter how many well meaning friends, family members or even your therapist. If you have a therapist that pushes a certain type of therapy on to you, change doctors! A good therapist/Psychiatrist will understand when you need their suggested therapies and/or meds but will also know that as you progress, as long as you are progressing and moving forward you may or may not be comfortable with some types of therapy and will work with you to find what fits you best! I myself no longer take any of my psych meds. I quit all anti depressants, anti psychotics, mood stabilizers, and of course the anxiety meds…for me I got to a point where I could no longer move forward in healing, I was stuck not wanting to get better because the meds made me so numb, and I knew it was time for me to feel all those things I had been avoiding for so long. I began using cannabis and obtained a prescription from a doctor and can report have been successfully using all forms for not only all my symptoms from CPTSD but also my chronic pain issues are so much better and manageable!
Let me just say that I strongly do not suggest taking my course of action as it had some really rough moments over the first 12 months of me stopping meds (I did not seek my doctors advice, I quit cold turkey) so just let me reiterate DO NOT DO THIS!!
Back to being present, I have found for me that I have to really be careful of when I watch television. Oddly enough I don’t really watch what’s on most of the time as I am usually in my head so to break that cycle I only watch when there is something on that I want to see or watch with someone else and I only have music on in the background which so far has been very helpful in keeping me in the “now”!
Well, on to the day with some great music on and some tasks to complete!
I am so happy that it is finally spring! There is so much to look forward to but I have to say seeing the sun has been at the top of my list. I know a lot of people suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) but I have noticed over the years that I am much more affected by long term darkness. I have always loved the sun, but I am also a huge fan of a rainy day, a good thunderstorm or the quiet beauty of the snow falling. But I NEED to see the sun every few days and this winter we went weeks and weeks between sightings! I was so excited for May to begin as we usually have sunny skies and temps in the high sixties to low seventies but this year we had rain, a little sun but COLD, more rain, a little snow and now more rain. Not complaining because we do need the precipitation so to get away from the same dreary scene we have spent most of May camping in our RV on my hubby’s days off. We have had some warm sunny days and some beautiful rainy days on the coast but the change of scenery really made a difference, it was gorgeous! I think we finally have some spring coming at us for which I am very excited and we have a big vacation coming up so I have lots to do in the coming days but I wanted to jump on here and post since I have not posted in months…it was a difficult fall, holiday season and then I fell apart but am finally I hope, back on track on my journey. With the summer quick approaching I am so excited for farmers market season and all the amazing veggies and fruits we get in season and with that I plan on sharing at least a couple good recipes a week on here. Right now I don’t imagine that I’ve had to many viewers as I have been absent for a while myself. I plan on being present on here and in my life more than I have been and I think it’s a necessary step in my healing and recovery.
From now on, even in crisis I will get on here and post and I hope that someone else will see this and maybe it will help. At least that’s my hope! Until later in the week I wish you a Happy Memorial Day and have an awesome week!
Well, tomorrow hubby and I head to Street Vibrations in Reno, Nevada for our third year in a row! We first went in 2016 right after we bought the trike. This is going to be our final visit to street vibes for at least the next year or two, as retirement is getting closer we will be spending more of our vacation time in exploration of various parts of Oregon, where we have decided to spend our retirement! I love Oregon, have since I was a kid and spent a lot of time up there. When I left California back in 1985 I swore I would never return, but here we are like others before us who moved in order to accommodate family needs especially aging parents with failing health! So here we are now finally at the age of our own retirement and we can’t wait to finally live somewhere that feels like a better fit with our lifestyle.
But for this year we will jump on the trike and head down the open road to enjoy the company of hundreds of other motorcycle riders from all over the country! To really give ourselves a treat this time round we have booked a deluxe mini suite complete with spa tub and cali king bed!! Looking forward to really seeing more of Reno this trip since we will no longer be staying around the usual haunts for meals now that we are eating a healthy plant based diet. I am excited to see how much more fun we have since we both have so much more energy since making the lifestyle change! Looking up lots of places to try and so happily surprised at how many choices we have for plant based eating! Yay Reno! I will be posting photos after we return from our trip. To follow along as we go you can follow me on Instagram lisayoung2002 and Flying on our Tri Glide also on Instagram.
Just a quick note to say I am in hot pursuit of yummy plant based fall recipes, as well as plant based holiday recipes. And since my entire family does not follow a plant based diet I am also searching for some tasty and healthy recipes for traditional holiday favorites! All recipes I post on here I will have tested myself! Check back as I plan on posting tonights dinner which consists of Apple Stuffed Acorn Squash, and Maple Roasted Butternut Squash! 
Wow, it has been a while hasn’t it? I promised myself when I began this blog I would post something at least weekly. Well my friends, that did not happen! Why you may ask? Life. Simply stated, shit happens! July ended up being a complete loss for anything productive except in my healing journey with CPTSD. Lots of memories unfolded along with a lot of unresolved feeling I hadn’t allowed myself to fully feel, come to terms with and then let go. A lot of crying ensued, but oddly the worst was a volcanic eruption of anger that I had been trying to keep down for many, many, many, many years. Over time there were some cracks. And I am sorry to say that when my daughter was just a little girl, my niece and nephew were also living with me as I helped raise them…those three got a lot of that anger that seeped through the cracks. I didn’t know at the time I had trauma, wasn’t diagnosed with CPTSD until a decade or more later but that does not excuse my behavior at that time, I was yet another statistic continuing the cycle of abuse. It wasn’t as bad, and I stopped myself but it should have never happened. I am grateful that there is more knowledge and help readily available for people now who have lived through abuse and trauma. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for how over the top I was being fueled by all that anger. I hope someday that they will forgive me. That being said, July had me sitting like old, wet dynamite sitting by a mules hind leg and whenever I was triggered, that mule kicked that case of old dynamite….KABOOM, KABOOM, KABOOM! Found out I had a bit of an issue with road rage, as my hubby asked me to follow him to our HD dealer to have his bike in for service and upgrades….I’m a little sensitive about anyone getting to close to any motorcyclist, but my man….you better be careful! After a few incidents and a poor older gentleman probably on his way to work in a nice white dress shirt and tie almost cut hubby off. Yes, I chased him down in my big ole pickup truck, his little Hyundai was no match, I caught up and saw this poor man’s ashen, sweating profusely face, the big armpit stains on his fresh shirt and realized I had totally lost it. So July was FULL of therapy session, lots of crying, not even close to being productive but still going strong on my plant based diet!
Because I would not allow myself to eat anything that would make me feel bad it really helped me to deal with my CPTSD and it’s symptoms. I hadn’t realized that the medications I had been taking that made me so ill, well when I stopped taking them months ago I hadn’t realized that they took months to get completely out of my system (should have figured this, it takes weeks/months to get it built into your system to work effectively). Well, it took some adjustments to my cannabis use to get the anxiety under control, and with therapy and meditation, journaling, etc. I got the anger in tow and now I express anger and am not completely afraid of it. I still do not like conflict, but I talk about my anger now that I believe it’s okay for me to be angry, especially the anger I have from my childhood. I believed I was getting it together when about ten days ago I woke up to the most unimaginable pain I had experienced in a very long time. I mean the nerve pain from my back is something I’m used to for the most part, sometimes it gets flared and angry and the pain is greater but this time it was also very weak. My left leg has just crumpled underneath me when standing or trying to take a step now at least once a day and left me picking myself up off the floor….because I can’t use my cane right now…FIBRO FLARE! I completely forgot that one of my meds for CPTSD was a dual med for two diagnosis! I was taking it as my main anti-depressant and for Fibromyalgia! It was quite the thing to get all my meds inline with the fact that I have type 2 diabetes and all my meds have to go well with my diabetes meds. Well, long story short since I hadn’t had a flare in over two years, I was definitely surprised my doctors however were not! So I am not experimenting with lots of different CBD products which I can report are working nicely!
No, the pain is not managed as well as prescription meds but I don’t have to take tons of other prescriptions to alleviate serious, almost debilitating side effect symptoms from those meds! CBD/THC cannabis has zero side effects and I only have to take it as I need it. No longer taking meds because they have to build up in your system to work…who else thinks having chemical compounds “building up” in our systems is a good thing? If your with me…no way! Now every condition, like every person is different. This is what works for me, this is what makes me comfortable. I have become pretty particular about what I put into my body (no I haven’t gone so overboard that an ice cold beer, glass of wine with dinner, or occasionally a mango margarita or dirty martini isn’t indulged in occasionally!).
Let’s say the fibro flare has definitely slowed me down (picture tortoise walking through peanut butter) but I am managing and hoping it isn’t one of those months and months long flare but a few weeks max!
The key to all of this has been my eating though. I could not have managed any of this if my overall physical health hadn’t been in such a good place from eating plant based!
So here we are, back on track sort of and blogging. Still eating plant based and trying to give myself a break for not being super woman. If I don’t have the energy to make juice every morning no problem, I will just buy some pre-made or Jim helps me juice at night for several days-problem solved! Can’t keep up on the housework as the one thing besides my left leg, my hands like to go on strike during a flare. I have pretty severe arthritis and then the fibro causes the weirdest but most intense pain in the oddest places like the palms of my hands so my daughter has been helping with housework, Jim’s been folding clothes and doing dishes-problem solved!
The one thing that this has sort of put the breaks on was my yoga practice with the exception of some stretching daily that I was doing up until the fibro flare. Now it’s just too painful to be on the floor so I am meeting next week with my beautiful friend, and yoga instructor extraordinaire Elizabeth Sosner (Instagram @littlelifeoflizzie) who teaches accessible yoga for all! I’m going to work with her on getting some moves and routines I can do to keep myself in motion while I’m having pain and range of motion issues! I can honestly say that doing yoga helps release so much tension in your body-remember that emotional/mental issues, stress, illness can all cause a lot of tension in your body and if you have never thought of it, you should now! I can cope so much better with everything when I’m doing yoga a few times a week, stretching daily. I haven’t done a practice in about 5 weeks now I and can feel it. Not only am I stiffer and so much less flexible, but I have to really stop and notice my breathing and adjust myself into deep belly breathing to get my shoulders down from over my ears! I noticed I went right back into my normal shallow/fight or flight breathing patterns which was something that with practice I was able to eliminate and started belly breathing without having to put myself in check. I really want to get back to that because believe it or not things rolled along so easily when I was engaged in all my healthy new habits…plant based eating, fresh juicing, yoga which led to increased energy, a lot more activity and feeling FABULOUS! I still feel 100% better than I did a year ago but not as good as I did two months ago.
The choice is mine and I’ve come to far not to want to keep moving forward! So, fresh juice in hand, loaded with inflammation reducing turmeric we are onward and upward, being healthy, fat and FABULOUS!!
Living Healthy Fat and Fabulous 